Surrendering Read online

  “Come here,” he reaches out for me. “What side of the bed do you sleep on?”

  I think for a minute. I usually take up the whole bed, but I have to come up with an answer. “I’ll take the left side closer to the bathroom.” I scoot in next to him and look down at his frame. “Don’t think I’m weird, but you have an awesome body. One of these days, I want you to tell me about each and every tattoo.” I trace my hands over his chest.

  “Sparkle, look at me.”

  I stop tracing and roam up to his eyes. I see them glaze over for a brief second before he speaks.

  “One of these days, I hope you’ll know about every part of my body, not just my tattoos.”

  My shorts are drenched; I can feel it. His voice is velvet and the meaning is clear. I lean in to kiss him and move my hands to brace on his chest. This kiss is slower and sweeter than earlier. When I pull away, I run my lips across his and peck lightly at the ring.

  “I’ve never had this before,” he says.

  “What.”

  “This,” he motions his hand between us, “feeling this connection.”

  “I guess it’s a first.”

  “I hope it leads to a bunch of firsts.”

  I sigh contently and snuggle into his side with my head on his chest. The last thing I feel before falling asleep is his arms squeezing around me.

  Chapter 12

  Let Me Take Care of You

  I wake-up in the darkness and my body is burning up. I’m twisted up with Declan and I try to extricate myself without waking him. I head to the bathroom for some water and squeal when I see my reflection. My hair is a mess and my lips are bruised. My face is flushed and not in a good way. I run a washcloth under the cold water and try to cool myself off. I find some ibuprofen and swallow two whole glasses of water. I know what’s coming. I’ve suffered from migraines for years and right before they hit, I get a spiked fever and night sweats. I slowly make my way back to bed and lean over his sleeping body to kiss him lightly on the cheek. He barely stirs, but he reaches out for me and I tuck myself back into his arms to fall asleep.

  *****

  I feel his lips on my cheek before I open my eyes. Then his lips move to my forehead as he lightly kisses me.

  “Shit, you’re burning up. Raven, wake-up.”

  I open my eyes and see his perfect body hovered directly over me.

  “Good morning,” I croak. I feel like a hammer is hitting my temple. I see black spots and my stomach instantly curls.

  “I wanted to wake you up for yoga, but I think you need to stay in bed. Do you feel okay?”

  “Not really, I have a headache and I feel like my body is on fire. I think I need more medicine.”

  “More medicine?”

  “I woke up in the middle of the night and felt flushed. When I got some water I took something in case I was getting sick.”

  “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

  “It’s nothing. I’ll be fine.” I lie, I know what’s coming and I need to get him out of here.

  “Dec, I know you love your Saturday morning football. Why don’t you go ahead and I’ll go back to sleep.”

  “Not sure I like leaving you this way. I could stay and get us breakfast.”

  Puke! The mention of food has my stomach rolling. “I’ll be fine. You go ahead and we can catch up later.”

  “I have another gig tonight at The Steamroom. Will you come?”

  Unpleasant memories flash through my mind at the mention of the bar, but I smile at him. “I think that can be arranged.”

  He sees the hesitation in my face and he slowly exhales. “I know the last time we made plans like this they turned out shitty, but tonight will be different. Tonight I plan on making great memories. I have a few things planned. And for shit’s sake, we’re not coming back here. Plan on staying at my place.”

  Even though I feel like there’s a dancing mariachi band playing in my head, I’m instantly turned on. Thinking about going back to his place tonight can only mean good things. “Okay, that sounds nice.”

  “If I have my way, it will be better than nice.”

  He slips a quick kiss on my lips before he hauls himself up off the bed. “As much as I hate leaving, you need to get back to sleep. I’ll call you when I’m on my way back over. Maybe you’ll be hungry by then.”

  I try my best to smile, but slowly close my eyes. “Okay, see you later. Have fun.”

  He gets his phone off the nightstand and slowly close the door behind him. I hear a few other noises in the house including the alarm going off and the back door closing. As soon as I know he’s gone, I quit fighting the urges and throw off the blankets wrapped around me. I make it to the bathroom just before I lose everything in my stomach. I get a washcloth and run it under water to help wipe the sweat that’s formed over my neck, face, and hairline. I gently put my head back against the cabinets and hope I can get up the strength to get to my phone.

  A little while later, a noise wakes me up. I must have passed out on the floor because I’m lying on the cold tile and it feels luxurious.

  “Oh my gosh, Rave, are you okay? What’s wrong? Are you sick?” There’s panic in Ella’s voice.

  “Please bring me my phone.”

  A few seconds pass before she hands me my phone and takes the washcloth to replenish it with cold water. She starts to wipe my face down and gently combs her hands through my hair.

  When the call finally connects, I hear his grumbled voice in my ear. I find that I’m only able to whisper. “Finn, I need you to come get me and take me to Mom and Dad’s. This is a bad one and I need help.”

  “Jesus Christ, RJ, I’ll be there in ten minutes. Hold on for me, okay?”

  I can’t even talk; I nod and hang up. The last thing I feel is Ella smoothing my face and yelling for Abbi.

  I wake again when Finn picks me up. Finn’s voice is soft in my ear and he’s speaking quietly to the girls.

  “She’ll be fine, I promise. This doesn’t happen often, but when it does, she’s out of commission for about two days. She wants to go to her parents so she doesn’t worry y’all. Can you help me find her purse, keys, and phone?”

  “Is there anything we can do? She looks like she passed out.” Abbi sounds panicked.

  “Not right now. She’ll call you later. I swear she’s fine. It’s better that she spends the next few days with her parents so they can monitor her medicine and get her to eat. I’ll call you later today when she wakes up.”

  I feel us going out the door, but I’m too weak to lift my head for a reassuring smile. I tug on Finn’s arm and pass out again.

  *****

  Declan

  I can’t concentrate worth shit so I quit the game early. I have a nagging feeling in my gut that won’t go away. When I get to my truck, I see I have a few missed calls from my sisters, but I don’t call them back because I’m going there anyway. Whatever they need, they can tell me when I get there. I go by the nearest store for soup, crackers, and Gatorade. If Raven is awake, maybe this will make her feel better.

  When I walk in the door, I call out that I’m here. I hear hushed voices in the kitchen. When I pass Raven’s door it’s closed; she must still be asleep. Abbi and Ella look up at me immediately when I hit the doorframe. Something’s wrong.

  “What’s up?” Ella’s face is pale and Abbi is gripping a coffee mug in both hands.

  “Oh, Dec, it was awful. When we came home from Dad’s, I found Raven passed out on her bathroom floor. She was covered in sweat and her lips were swollen with bruises. She had been throwing up for God knows how long. And she was here all alone. It scared the shit out of us.”

  My body instantly tenses up. She wasn’t okay when I left her this morning and I was stupid enough to leave her alone.

  Ella continues, “After she hung up the phone, she passed out again on my lap. When Finn got here, he picked her up and told us he was taking her home for a few days.”

  Right away I’m on alert. “Did you say
Finn picked her up?” I see red.

  It was Abbi who spoke up next, “Don’t go crazy, Dec. Apparently Raven is prone to terrible migraines. They aren’t common, but when one hits, she’s sick for days. They have medicine for her, but her parents like her to be home so they can watch over her. If the pill doesn’t stay down, they can re-administer it within an hour. Finn took her home and will call us with an update later.”

  I feel a little better now. Even though I don’t like the situation, it makes sense for her to be with her family. Still, I’m trying to figure out if she knew this was bad when I left this morning.

  “Declan, did you hear me?” Ella breaks into my thoughts.

  “No, what did you say?”

  “I said that you looked murderous when Abbi mentioned Finn. What’s going on?”

  I try to skirt the situation and remember there’s a bag of food in my arms. Both of them look at me with questioning expressions and I realize that I need to get out of here and get to my phone ASAP.

  “What’s in the bag?”

  “Nothing.” I lie again. But when I look down, I realize the cashier used a clear plastic bag for my groceries and all of it is on display.

  “Doesn’t look like nothing to me. I see what’s in there and it reminds me of what Dad gives us when we’re sick. It seems a little coincidental that you have all that when our roommate was just carted off.” Abbi lifts her eyebrow in question and I know I have to say something.

  “Fuck! For Christ’s sake, stop looking at me like that! I knew Raven didn’t feel good because I was here when she got up this morning. Of course she didn’t mention a migraine. She just told me she had a fever and wanted to sleep.”

  Both girls look at me with disapproval in their eyes.

  “It’s not what you think. I brought her dinner last night and we watched TV. I spent the night. When I woke her up this morning for yoga, she was sweaty and burning up. I would have never left her if I knew she had a migraine coming on.”

  “Shit, shit, shit! Why can’t you stay away from our roommates, Declan? Why? You have a different girl every night. Hell, you can call Sami day or night. Why do you insist on going after the one girl that we have to live with? We’ve become good friends with her!” Abbi screams at me.

  I’m going to have to control this before it gets out of hand. “Both of you need to fucking listen to me now. This is nothing like what you think. I’m not sleeping with Raven. I really like her. This is different from anything I’ve ever felt and I want to get to know her. I was a complete dick to her at The Steamroom and again the other night. I came over to talk to her without you nosing around. We had a great night, without sex, and I stayed over.”

  “Did you just say you spent the night…”Abbi starts.

  “…and without sex?” Ella cuts her off.

  They look at each other with wide eyes and both of them start laughing at the same time.

  “I don’t see what’s so funny. I haven’t been with anyone in a long time. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to get Raven to notice me after the incident at The Steamroom.”

  “Okay, okay. If you promise not to fuck this up, we can be supportive. But the minute you jack up, we have the right to kick your ass, and we tell Dad.”

  “E, I can honestly tell you, if I fuck this up, I’ll kick my own ass and tell Dad. She’s different from anything I ever expected and I’m not talking about sex. She makes me want to do things like dates and relationships and shit. I told her I’d take it slow, but honestly, it kills me that she called Finn today when I was here earlier. I could have helped her.”

  “Don’t take it personally; she wouldn’t let us help either. Finn said she was embarrassed.”

  A cell phone dings and I know that one of them has received a message. Abbi reaches for her phone. “Finn says she’s sleeping fine and her mom got a pill in her. She didn’t wake-up for long, but wanted us not to worry. He’ll keep us updated.”

  Okay, this was good news. I look at her phone and quickly memorize Finn’s number. I’m going to call him myself shortly to hear if there’s any other news.

  “Since Raven is sick, our plans are canceled. Are you playing tonight at the bar?”

  “Yep, y’all wanna come?”

  Both girls nod. “Sure, we’ll be there.”

  “Out of curiosity, what were your plans tonight?”

  They share a quick look before answering. “We were going to this cool Italian place for drinks with Raven. The bartender has a crush on her and we encouraged her to talk to him.”

  “I can assure you those plans are canceled and not just because of her migraine.”

  They roll their eyes at me, but smile.

  I give the groceries to my sisters and head home. Before I start the car, I send a quick text to Raven.

  I heard you’re sick. Sorry I wasn’t here to help. Next time, please let me take care of you.

  Chapter 13

  Tell Me I’m Not Imagining This

  It’s been two days since my migraine and I finally feel normal and ready to go home. I ask Robbie to drive me since Mom and Dad are out and I don’t have my car. He tells me to be ready to go in an hour and calls Finn to make plans for the night. I take a shower and get dressed, noticing the whole time that my clothes are hanging lose on me. I haven’t had any real food since Friday night and even that was thrown up. I send a text to Ella to let her know I’ll be home soon.

  Me: Ella, I am coming home in a little while. Finally feeling human again.

  She responds right away.

  Ella: Awesome! Do you need us/me to come get you?

  Me: No, my brother’s making plans with Finn. He’s bringing me. I should be there soon.

  Ella: See you then. Do you think you’ll be hungry?

  Me: Ravished. Haven’t eaten since Friday night.

  Ella: I’ll arrange something. See you soon xoxo

  I wonder what she’ll arrange since she never cooks. As a matter of fact, I’ve never seen her grocery shop. Robbie comes in the room with his keys and motions to the front door. I jump up and follow him to his truck.

  “Well RJ, one good thing about this is that I get to finally meet your hot roommates and see your house. Sorry you had to get sick.”

  “I know, but thanks for bringing me home… Wait, how did you know my roommates are hot?

  “The guys told me that you three could stop traffic if you tried. Apparently, Jimi and one of them have a thing.”

  I know it’s Abbi so I don’t bother to ask. I think she’ll tell me if she wants me to know and I don’t want to get in the middle. I’ve been watching the guys hook-up with girls for years and I’ve been in the middle of some shitty situations. As soon as one of them brings a girl around me, she decides she wants to be best-friends because it’ll help the relationship. I have more ‘fake’ friends than I do real ones. Once the boys get tired of them, they cling to me thinking I can change their minds. But with Abbi, I’ll kick Jimi’s ass if he screws her over.

  I lean back in my seat while we head north and think back on the last few days. I have several messages and texts from Declan. He’s been so sweet.

  How are you feeling?

  Have you eaten yet?

  When are you coming home?

  Can I come see you?

  Missed you at the show, had plans to show you off.

  Call me when you feel like it.

  And then there’s the last one.

  I miss you. Can’t wait to see you.

  The first night I woke up after passing out, I read his first message over and over… “Let me take care of you. Let me take care of you. Let me take care of you…” Each time I read it my heart fluttered. I had answered all of his text messages except that one. It was so intimate and raw. I wasn’t sure how much he meant it, but I knew he was upset I hadn’t told him how bad I felt that morning. I know he found out about me from the girls, but I wasn’t sure how much he told them about us. My plan was to lay low until we could talk. />
  As we drive up to the house, I see Finn’s truck. Jimi, Tripp, and Finn are waiting on Robbie. I jump out and hug each of them, then head inside. As soon as I walk in, I’m engulfed in two sets of arms holding me tight.

  “We’re so glad you’re here!” Both of them screech at the same time. I hug them back and laugh out loud.

  “Jesus, it was just two days. I’m fine. No need for drama.”

  “Raven, we know you’re fine, but I was terrified when I found you passed out on your bathroom floor. I had no idea what was wrong and all kinds of terrible things went through my mind. You do realize I’m a nursing student, right? I’m thankful it was only a migraine.”

  “Ella, I’m sorry I worried you. And believe me, it wasn’t just a migraine. It was the worst one I’ve ever had.”

  As I let them both go and step back, I instantly feel him in the room. I look over their shoulders and he’s standing there with his arms crossed over his chest with a small grin on his face. He looks me up and down with heat in his eyes. Both girls part and I have a direct path to him. I run to him and throw my arms around his shoulders. He braces and picks me up without hesitation. My legs wrap around his hips and his mouth is in my ear. I feel his ring gliding over my lobe and my body reacts.

  “Don’t you ever send me away to play fucking football again when you’re sick. I mean it Rave; let me take care of you.”

  I don’t even get a chance to respond before there’s a roar behind me.

  “Who the fuck are you and why is your tongue in my sister’s ear?” Shit! Robbie. I forgot we had an audience. So much for being subtle. I try to dislodge myself, but Declan only lets me slide off of him before he tucks me underneath his shoulder.