Surrendering Read online

  Once I open the door, I’m suddenly calm. Declan’s standing on the porch wearing athletic shorts and a ratty grey shirt. He looks delectable. He’s removed his lip ring, but I can still see the small hole where it belongs. His whole body takes up the doorway and he towers over me.

  Suddenly he leans into me and places a quick kiss on my cheek. He whispers, “Good morning, Sparkle.”

  “Sparkle?”

  “I decided when I got home last night that ‘Sparkle’ was your new nickname from me. I’ve never in my life had as much spark during a kiss as I did with you. Every time I say your new nickname, I want to remember that.”

  “Okay, I think that’s a sweet thing?”

  “Yes, beautiful, it’s a sweet thing.”

  I quickly set the alarm and lock up the house. When we get to the driveway, I notice the huge Yukon.

  “Is this your truck?”

  “Yep.”

  “It’s huge!”

  “Heard that before.” He says and winks at me.

  “Oh my God, did you just make my comment about your truck into a sexual prowl?”

  “Yep.”

  I stay silent as I hop in. I’m not kidding; you can fit eight people in this truck.

  “In all honesty, I have this big thing because it fits a lot of people and I can haul things in it. When I travel with the band, we like to ride together so this was a good choice.”

  “Sounds practical.”

  “What kind of music do you want on?”

  “Well, in my class we listen to Zen sounds for pure concentration. So I like to listen to pop or rock before I go in.”

  “I don’t really do pop so rock it is.” He sets the station to hard rock and the famous sounds of Led Zeppelin come through the speakers.

  He finds a parking spot close to my yoga studio and we make plans to meet back at the truck at 11:15. Before I get out of the truck, he gently runs his hand down my cheek and whispers, “Sparkle.”

  *****

  When I get to Declan’s truck after class, I notice I have two missed calls and three texts.

  Both calls are from Abbi’s cell phone, but the texts are from Abbi, Ella, and Finn. Since Declan isn’t here yet, I decide to answer Finn’s text first.

  Finn: Where are you?

  Me: Was at yoga- heading home now.

  Immediate reply.

  Finn: Great, let’s head out about 8:00 tonight. I’ll pick you up.

  Me: Perfect

  Then I answer Abbi

  Abbi: Where are you?

  Same answer.

  Me: Was at yoga- heading home now.

  Another immediate reply.

  Abbi: Great, hurry up. Ella and I need to talk to you ASAP!

  Well, that’s nerve-wracking.

  Me: Everything okay?

  Abbi: You tell me- or wait- you can tell me when you get here. Hurry your ass up.

  Declan approaches the truck. I’m freaking out and I think he can tell.

  “You don’t look very Zen. Yoga must have been bad today.”

  “Well nothing happened at yoga. When I got to the car and checked my messages, Abbi and Ella had tried to get a hold of me. Apparently, they need to talk to me. I was told to hurry my ass home.”

  Realization dawned on his face, “Fucking damned hell! I have a feeling I know what’s going on. Let’s go.”

  When we pull into the driveway, he looks at me and smiles gently. “I’m going in there with you. We’ll talk to them together. I’d like to be as vague as possible. I want to keep whatever’s happening between us private. We’re both adults and we can proceed without their permission. But I want you to know something before we get the Spanish Inquisition, I’m serious about getting to know you, Raven. They don’t get to know what happens between us. Are you okay with that?”

  I smile and nod. I’m okay with that.

  *****

  I’m not sure what to expect as we walk into the house. Abbi and Ella are on the couch watching TV. There’s genuine surprise as I walk in with Declan behind me. They look between the two of us and then at each other.

  “Please, Declan, not again. You promised.”

  “No, Ella, not again. This isn’t what you think.”

  “What do you mean it’s not what I think? Did you spend the night here last night?”

  “Nope.”

  “You guys are sort of freaking me out. What is it you want to know?” I interrupt.

  Abbi speaks first, “Well, we didn’t know you two were still together this morning. When we came home and found the remnants of Dec’s famous family favorite in the refrigerator and dessert on the counter, we knew there had to be a mistake. Obviously, he knew we were at Dad’s last night so why would he bring over dinner. Then it hit us; he brought you dinner. Now you two walk in and it makes us wonder if he ever left last night.”

  Declan groans to the ceiling, “Why are sisters such a pain in the ass?”

  I look at both of them “It’s a simple answer. No, he didn’t stay the night. He came over with dinner and we watched a movie. When he left, he offered to take me to yoga since he was playing ball. He picked me up earlier and here he is dropping me off. Okay?”

  Both sets of eyes go straight to Declan. “You brought dinner and watched a movie here last night?”

  “Yes, Abbi.”

  “On a Friday night?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wow, I may need a minute to process this. Not sure I’ve ever heard of you doing the date thing. It’s a little unexpected. It’s not your style.”

  “Jesus Christ, Abbi, that’s a shitty thing to say, especially in front of the girl I was with. What’s wrong with you?”

  It’s starting to get tense in here and I really don’t want to know what Declan’s ‘style’ is. “I need to take a shower and get some lunch. Are we all okay here?” No one responds so I take that as a yes.

  “See you later, Declan. Thanks for the ride.” I walk past everyone and into my room. The door’s just about shut when Declan blocks it with his hand.

  “Wait a minute; I need to talk to you.”

  “Okay, what’s up?”

  “First off, can I come in? I’m not sure I want my sisters in on this conversation.”

  “Sure, come on in.” I step back and he comes in and shuts the door behind him. He steps forward and pulls my body into his. Even though he’s still sweaty and I can visibly see the dirt on him, I don’t care.

  “Raven, what are your plans tonight?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Can you come to The Steamroom to watch the band? Maybe we could hang out after we’re finished?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  He looks confused by my statement so I clarify. “I’m not trying to be vague, but I don’t know what my plans are. I got a text from Finn saying he was picking me up at eight and I’m not sure what he has planned. I could ask him and let you know.”

  “You have plans with Finn on a Saturday night? Is it a date?”

  “Never. We usually go out on Saturdays. It’s our thing.”

  “I don’t want to be a dick, Raven, but please tell me the truth about you two. Is there something going on?”

  “No, as I tell everyone, we’re just friends. He’s been a special part of my family for as long as I can remember-” I don’t get to finish the statement because he shifts his hands into my hair and tugs me toward him. Before I know it, he has his lips on mine and his tongue in my mouth. I feel it; the spark is there. The room starts spinning and I remember to breathe. As his mouth moves against mine, one hand moves down and grips my ass. The other massages the back of my neck. I miss the ring, but I enjoy the entirety of his mouth on mine.

  When he starts to pull away, I whimper.

  He stares at me and slowly licks his lips. “Are there fireworks in the room when he kisses you?”

  “Declan, he doesn’t kiss me.”

  “Are there fireworks in the room when anyone kisses you?”

  “No
one else kisses me.”

  “That’s a fucking great answer, Sparkle.”

  “Let me talk to Finn. Maybe we’ll stop by tonight. Are you going to be okay if he’s there?”

  “Yeah, Sparkle, I’ll be okay. But why don’t you make plans for me to bring you home.” It was a statement, not a question.

  “I’ll see what I can do. I’ll call you after I talk to him. Do you want to give me your number?”

  “No, babe, I want you to give me your number. I’ll call this afternoon and check in. You can save it then. I’m not trying to be a jerk. It’s just that right now, all I want to do is kiss you. Then I need to try to get out of here without my sisters seeing my hard on.”

  “You can stay a while if you want. We could watch some TV in here.”

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Your outfit is screaming at me to rip it off and your bed is five feet away. Remember my nonexistent self-control?”

  My thoughts immediately think of Declan in my bed and I’m wet. I think he can read the effect because he moves his lips back to mine and tightens his grasp on my ass. All I can do is groan into his mouth.

  He pulls back again and gently kisses me over my eyes. “Sweet Raven, go shower and call your boy. I want to see you tonight. I want to introduce you to my band. I want to talk about this crazy attraction. Does that sound okay with you?”

  I can’t speak so I nod instead. He smiles and lets me go. I watch him adjust his shorts and reach for the door.

  “Until tonight, Sparkle, see you then.”

  Chapter 9

  The Steamroom

  Finn thinks it’s a great idea to go to The Steamroom. He invites the guys, and Abbi and Ella decide to come along. They’ve softened completely and they haven’t mentioned anything about this morning. I did notice that when I went to get lunch, they had cleaned out the leftovers from last night. I guess they weren’t too mad about Declan’s dinner after all.

  As I’m getting ready to go out, I choose to wear a pair of low-rise light jeans and an electric blue off the shoulder top. I add tons of silver accessories and my black wedge platforms. I blow out my hair, but leave the waves that fall and apply more make-up than usual. I’m not sure about what’s going on between Declan and I, but I certainly want to look the part tonight. Nothing too flashy, yet sassy and sexy.

  When we arrive, we go to the head of the line since Abbi and Ella are on the guest list. We spot Jimi and Tripp at a corner booth and they wave us over.

  “Raven, why don’t you come with me to the ladies’ room? Then we can stop by the band room. Declan mentioned introducing you to the guys.” Abbi nudges me.

  “Sounds good, let me get my drink.”

  “No need, we can get a beer backstage.”

  I get up to move and Finn grabs my hand. “Be careful, Baby Girl. I think you know what I mean.”

  By the look in his eye, I catch his meaning. He knows something is going on with Declan. He’s always trying to protect me. I wink at him and give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Love you, Finn. There’s nothing to be alarmed about.”

  Backstage is a riot. There are people everywhere and a full bar in the corner. I see several women sitting on guys’ laps and some are even making out on a small couch against a wall. Abbi gets us a beer and snarls in the general direction of the crowd.

  “Only about five of these guys are actually with the band. The others either work here or are friends with the guys. Most of these girls are Band Bunnies. One or two of them may actually be here legitimately, but the rest are here trying to get one of the guys to hook up with them. It’s sad really.”

  I tug on my beer, “Isn’t that the definition of a groupie?”

  “Yes, but Ella and I named them Band Bunnies. They want to fuck like rabbits.”

  “Great call, I’ll remember that.”

  I feel him before I see him. There are goose bumps on my arms and my throat starts to close. I look around the room and there he is. There’s a curvy blond sitting on the arm of his chair running her hands through his hair. He’s in a pair of worn, ripped jeans and a red shirt. He’s put in his lip ring and is wearing several leather bracelets on his wrists. He looks incredible. I feel the heat in the air and my mouth goes dry. This bitch keeps running her fingers over him. He’s talking to another guy and it doesn’t seem to faze him. Ella interrupts my thoughts as she nudges my shoulder.

  “Raven, you okay? You look pale.”

  “Yeah, I’m okay. It’s just a hot flash. The room’s so small and there are so many people here. Maybe we should go back to the table.”

  “Let’s just say hi to the band first and get out of here. They’re great guys and I think you’ll like them. They’re not quite as tame and conservative as your hot-tourage, but they’re all heart.”

  I shrug and follow them to the center of the room where there are three seriously good looking guys standing. They all stop talking as we approach. Each one of them has their own style of sex appeal. I see a mohawk, tattoo sleeves, facial piercings, and tons of silver and leather.

  “Holy shit! Ella and Abbi Collins are in the house tonight!” Says Mohawk Man.

  They proceed to hug, kiss, and squeeze Abbi and Ella with affection.

  Finally, Abbi turns to me and introduces me, “Guys, this is Ravenel Hayes. She’s our new roommate.”

  They all turn to me and I can see them taking me in. I’m glad I took the extra time to get ready tonight.

  “Fuck,” this comes from Mohawk guy.

  “Shit,” this comes from Sleeves guy.

  “Son of a bitch,” this comes from Piercings guy.

  I start to feel self-conscious. I look down to make sure I’m covered.

  Ella snaps her fingers and everyone breaks staring at me to look at her.

  “You really should introduce yourselves before you mentally undress her.”

  Each of them reaches out a hand to shake mine.

  “Blake.” Mohawk.

  “Cooper.” Sleeves.

  “Nate.” Piercings.

  “Nice to meet you. Please call me Raven.”

  Blake speaks first, “Raven, please tell me you like tattooed rockers and extreme pleasure.”

  Declan approaches us from behind. “Step back, shithead.”

  There’s a crack in the air. Everyone swings their heads between Declan and me and I notice that the blond bunny has followed him to our group. She is desperately trying to get a hold of his hand, but he’s ignoring her.

  Cooper replies, “Dec, what’s your deal?”

  Blond Bunny speaks up next, “Yeah, Dec, what the fuck is going on? I thought we were going to the back for a few minutes before the show. I have something for you.”

  I watch as she rubs into him, runs her hand across his chest, and licks his ear. I throw up in my mouth. She intends to fuck him in the backroom before the show. I feel a thud in my chest.

  “Shit, Sami, get the fuck off me. Don’t you see my sisters standing here? Are you fucking crazy?” Declan glowers at her.

  She steps back slightly embarrassed and then her eyes land on me.

  “Who are you?”

  I decide to be the bigger person here, “I’m Ravenel. I’m a friend of Abbi, Ella, and Declan.”

  She’s bitter. “I’ve never seen you before. How do you know Declan?”

  I’m not about to get into a bitch-slap-down with this skank so I politely decline to answer. Instead, I look back at the girls. “Y’all want to head back to the table? We’ve got people waiting on us.”

  Both of them nod and start to walk away. I wave to the band and turn to leave. There are a few whistles behind me and I slightly smile to myself. I’m almost out the door when Declan tells Sami to get the hell off him again. Then I hear ‘Sparkle’, but I keep walking.

  When we get back to the table, I notice that a few other guys I didn’t know had joined our friends, but Finn had saved my seat next to him. After our drinks are delivered, Finn and I go play pool in the back of the bar.
Jimi and Tripp join us and before I know it, we’re in an intense competition. Finn and I are leading by one game, but I know Jimi is about to go double or nothing. The winning pot is only about fifteen dollars, but it’s the bragging rights he wants. Our drinks are flowing and after the fourth game, we’ve moved to shots. I’m feeling awesome.

  All of the lights suddenly dim and Sayge hits the stage. I see Declan first and he’s looking around. His eyes find mine in the crowd and it looks like he’s trying to say something. I’m not sure, but I think he mouths I’m Sorry to me. I shrug and go back to my game. I’m not really mad at him, but it wasn’t the reception I was hoping for when he invited me tonight. I decide not to dwell on it and instead get drunk and enjoy the night.

  Sayge is awesome. After Finn and I beat Jimi and Tripp, we go back to our group and proceed to party. At last call, we pay our bill and get ready to go home. As we all pile out to our cars, I see Jimi kiss Abbi on the cheek. We all hug goodnight and Finn promises to call tomorrow. I never saw Declan after the show. I guess Sami had something for him after all.

  Chapter 10

  Give Me a Chance

  Three weeks have gone by since the night at The Steamroom. I haven’t seen or heard from Declan at all. I’ve fallen into a routine with school and I’ve been so busy that I only think about him at night when I lay down. It’s silly, really. We shared a few kisses and a promise to get to know each other. He wasn’t my boyfriend or even my friend, but I still ache for him. The girls haven’t mentioned him, but I know they talk to him often. They invited me to go back to The Steamroom for a Sayge show tonight, but I declined. They know I don’t have class tomorrow, but they nodded as if they understood.

  Instead of staying in the house and sulking, I went out with Finn and Gabe. We found a little hole in the wall on Broadway and I danced until I was drenched in sweat.

  Now it’s almost 2:30 in the morning and the guys are dropping me off at home. I’m going straight to the shower and then bed.