Finding Our Way Page 5

  “Should we join our families?”

  “Yes, but don’t get weird on me. I need my Devon.”

  I swallow hard and push back the tears and anxiety. How the hell did this happen?

  I nod and we head to the living room to celebrate Christmas.

  ~~~~~

  “Devon, are you done yet?” my brother asks me annoyed.

  “Just one more.” I adjust the camera and run back to the group.

  This should be the last picture, if everyone’s eyes stay open. It’s not my fault I’m compulsive about pictures. To me, the lens of a camera tells a story without words. That’s why I specifically chose photojournalism as my major, instead of just journalism. My words usually build on the image, not the other way around.

  Once the shot snaps, everyone breaks up and heads inside while I look back through the images. Bryce comes up behind me and settles his chin on my shoulder.

  “You got some great ones.”

  “I think so. We’ll upload tonight and see what we want to order.”

  “Are you protective over your camera?”

  “You have no idea. This is like my baby.” I hold it close to my chest in case he tries to grab it.

  “Think you’d let that man over there take a few of just us?” He points to a guy watching us from the porch of the lodge. The man waves and starts walking over.

  “You already asked him didn’t you?”

  “Yeah, he’s been waiting for you to finish.”

  “Just a few of us right?”

  “Yeah, he’ll be careful, I promise.”

  I nod and give the man a few instructions as he watches me amused. Bryce shoves my camera at him and pulls me away toward the tree line. Fresh snow covers the greenery around us. My mind instantly goes to how the right positioning will bring in the breathtaking scenery. I’m so wrapped up in deciding on a pose, I don’t notice Bryce lean down and lift me over his shoulder.

  “What are you doing?” I scream, beating on his back.

  “Making memories.” He spins us around then repositions me so I’m cradled in his arms. The smile on his face is contagious so I grin. Without thinking, I lean in and brush my lips across his.

  He caresses the back of my neck and pulls me in deeper. The instant his tongue sweeps in and finds mine, he groans. My pulse races and I clutch his shoulders tightly. Heat and desire run through my veins for this man. I tilt my head to deepen the kiss, just as he pulls back, pecking me lightly and spinning us again.

  We both start laughing and then I realize we have a small audience. Thank God none of them are our families. Bryce sets me back on my feet and I walk over to the man with my camera.

  “Got some great shots, man. Hope you like them,” he tells Bryce and walks back toward a crowd of people waiting at the edge of the snow-covered desk.

  “Do you know him?” I ask.

  “Not personally. He’s the resort photographer. I asked a favor.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, babe. I wanted a few of us alone and it wasn’t a good idea to ask our parents or Nate.”

  “Did you know I was going to kiss you?”

  “No, but if you didn’t, I would have kissed you. Before you get embarrassed, let’s go eat.” He takes my hand and leads me to the restaurant.

  My dad doesn’t hide his scowl when we walk in hand in hand, but my mom whispers something in his ear, which makes him relax. Throughout the meal, Bryce finds a way to touch me as much as possible. The small gestures leave a trail of heat where his fingers touch.

  Once dinner is finally over, the parents decide to go to the lounge and Nate, Bryce and I head to the condo. I leave them to pick out a movie and call Quinn.

  “Merry Christmas, bitch,” she greets me.

  “Back at ya, babe. How was your day?”

  “You know, the norm. Ate too much, took a nap, listened to my dad yell at the football games. Although I got a pair of kick ass boots. What about you?”

  “It’s been interesting to say the least.” I tell her about everything that has happened since waking up this morning. She’s a little too quiet when I finish. “Your silence is killing me.”

  “I’m pissed! Thrilled to death for you, but pissed for me. Who would have thought our first college bowl game experience, you’d have a boyfriend? Who’s gonna be my wingman? And let’s not forget we’re in MIAMI!”

  “It’s a little early to say I have a boyfriend.”

  “Don’t be an idiot. If what you’re telling me is true, which I know it is, Bryce has staked claim. No going back. Open your eyes, and your ears.”

  “I’m giving him a chance, but also being cautious.”

  “Whatever you say, but I know better. Can you still go out on New Year’s Eve?”

  “Of course.”

  We talk for a few more minutes about mindless things then confirm our plans to meet in Miami. Once we’re off the phone, I change into my pajamas and grab the small gift boxes in my bag.

  Nate and Bryce have a fire going and a football game on TV when I join them. The lights are dim, but the tree in the corner illuminates the room beautifully.

  “Guys, I have something for you. It’s nothing big, but when I saw these in one of the village shops, I thought of y’all.” I hand them each a box.

  Neither of them speaks when they open them but look at me surprised. “I know it’s cheesy, but when I saw them I thought we could finish the inscription when you both graduate from OCS next year.”

  Both look at the key chains and turn them over. One side has the Navy Seal and the other has their name. I had the shop do a rush order but left enough room for the date to be added.

  My brother gets to me first and lifts me up, hugging me tightly. “It’s awesome, Devon, thank you.” He kisses my temple, setting me down.

  Before I can step back, Bryce pushes him aside and lifts me again, but gently. He buries his head into my neck and nuzzles me softly. “It’s perfect, just like you.” He leans back and stares into my eyes. Then without warning closes his mouth over mine in a searing kiss. I forget we aren’t alone and allow him to claim my lips. We don’t stop until Nate starts clearing his throat behind us, then pushes Bryce.

  “Jesus, stop it! I told you I was supportive, but don’t make me regret it. Put her the fuck down.”

  Bryce grins against my lips and lowers me. Pecking me one more time.

  “Okay,” I find my voice, “what are we watching?”

  “Football.” They both answer.

  “What happened to a movie?”

  “Football is better,” Nate answers, propping himself on the couch.

  “Okay, I’ll read.” I settle in the middle and open my iPad. It isn’t long before the huge dinner, paired with wine catches up to me and I dose off. Bryce pulls me towards him so my head is in his lap and he strokes my hair lightly. Nate gives him shit, but he doesn’t stop. I stir slightly when my parents come in, but don’t wake up.

  When Bryce lifts me off the couch is when I finally awaken. “No, I want to sleep next to the Christmas tree.”

  “On the couch, babe?”

  “No, let’s make a pallet on the floor. It’s so beautiful,” I answer sleepily.

  “Okay, hold on.” He leaves me and moves around gathering blankets and grabs two pillows from my room.

  I join him as he situates himself, partly leaning against the couch. Without thinking too hard, I curl up on him, wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head on his chest.

  “This is nice.”

  “Considering it’s the first Christmas I have you in my arms, it’s better than nice. I have something for you, Devon, can you give me your wrist?”

  I reach out my arm and feel him digging in his pocket. Then I feel cold metal circle my skin as he fumbles with a clasp.

  When he’s done I sit up and admire the beautiful charm bracelet. It’s sterling silver with several intertwining links. In the middle is one single charm. It’s the shape of a Christmas tree. The writ
ing on the back is too small for me to see in the muted light, but when I reach for the lamp, he stops me.

  “It says todays date.”

  “That’s really sweet, Bryce.”

  He watches my face and then chuckles. “You don’t get it. It’s our first Christmas together. The tree represents the Aspen Pine.”

  Realization hits me. It’s a symbol, a statement, a memory.

  “Oh my God.”

  “Yeah, babe, I’ll fill up this whole bracelet with our memories.”

  “I love it.”

  He nods and pulls me back down to his chest, running his fingers through my hair. We don’t go to sleep though, we talk quietly through the night. I fill him in on my life in Virginia and he tells me more about the year and a half I missed. We don’t mention Holli or anything remotely upsetting. When I fall asleep again at dawn, I know this is the best Christmas I’ve ever had.

  Chapter 5

  Hold it together, hold it together, hold it together. I keep repeating in my head. My impending breakdown is trying to bubble to the surface and suffocate me with tears. I have no doubt, I’ll hit a restroom stall as soon as I get through security and bawl, but I don’t want Bryce to see.

  It was hard to say goodbye to everyone since we had such a wonderful vacation. It sucks being the first to leave. Sheila and Dave hugged me tight and explained now that things were out in the open, they expected weekly check in calls from me. Somehow Bryce talked everyone into letting him ride with me to the airport.

  The whole ride, Bryce holds me tight against him. My eyes well up a few times, thinking about leaving. His eyes are sympathetic and I know he’s having a hard time too.

  “Babe, we got to talk about this before you get on a plane. I can’t let you go without knowing how you feel. You need time and that’s fine, but I need to know we’re in this together. Tell me I have nothing to worry about.”

  A part of me is still protecting myself, but deep down, I know I’m a goner. It’s ridiculous to deny it. But I’m still apprehensive to see how things work out when I’m back in Virginia and he is in Knoxville. He’s already admitted to screwing women because they were easy. And we haven’t even gotten to second base. His reluctance to touch me is endearing, but frustrating too.

  “Bryce, can we see how things go? I’m scared to death to fall deep again and you be tempted because we aren’t together. I’m only nineteen, how do you know you won’t meet a more experienced girl in the next few months that turns your head? Let’s take it slow.”

  “You think your age matters to me? You think a ‘more experienced’ girl will turn my head? I’ve done some shitty things, but please don’t insult my intelligence,” he growls.

  “Bryce—”

  “No, Devon, this thing between us is anything but casual. This is me finally going after what I’ve wanted for years. Get that shit out of your head. I have a long way to go to prove how much I care about you. But promise me you’ll talk to me, let me in.”

  “You know I will. I already did.”

  “That’s all I can ask for. Now we need to talk about your deflection strategy.”

  “Deflection strategy?”

  “Yeah, babe. You’re going to be in Miami with a ton of crazy guys. I need to know you know how to fend them off. Quinn and I spoke and I have a feeling she’s scouting for the next loser to make the list.”

  “You talked to Quinn?!”

  “Of course. I had to let her know how serious I am and give her the chance to cuss me out. She was pretty mellow, but I’m even more aware of how deeply I hurt you. If you weren’t cheering in this fucking game, I’d take you to an unknown location. Then spend the rest of our break making it up to you.”

  “I don’t know if I should kick you or kiss you.”

  “Kiss is always the best answer.”

  I think about what he’s saying and decide to go ahead and ask him the question bothering me since the night he took that phone call.

  “Who did you talk to? In Aspen, when you left the room when Nate and I were waiting to watch a movie”

  “The jeweler making your bracelet. She emailed me several charms, but none had enough room for me to say what I wanted, so she had an idea. I loved it and then made sure it was ready for Mom to pick up the next day.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, really. Who’d you think I was talking to?”

  “I was too scared to ask,” I whisper meekly.

  “Never, ever be scared to ask me again. Anything you want to know.”

  “Okay.”

  The driver informs us we are here and I reluctantly slide across the seat and out of the van. Bryce follows and tells him to give us a few minutes.

  Once I get my boarding pass and bags checked, we walk hand in hand, as far as he can go. A few tears fall down my cheeks even though I try hard to hold them in.

  “Baby, don’t cry. I’ll see you soon. Even sooner if you get into that museum exhibit.”

  “I’ll miss you, Bryce.”

  “Me too, babe, call me when you land.”

  I lunge into him, knocking him back, but he catches me and holds tight. I kiss him briefly, knowing any more will be my undoing.

  He watches me with his arms across his chest until I’m completely through security. The tears start to fall again and he shakes his head and pulls out his phone.

  “No tears, Devon, this isn’t goodbye,” he says hoarsely when I answer.

  “I can’t help it,” I croak.

  “I’ll see you soon, promise. Nothing changes.”

  “Okay.”

  “You’re mine, I look forward to proving it.”

  “Me too.”

  “Bye, baby.” He hangs up.

  I find my gate and then the closest restroom, where I let the tears flow. This time. I’m not heartbroken, but completely in love—again. Shit!

  ~~~~~

  “Please tell me we’re done. No more,” I plead with Quinn, falling back onto the bed.

  “D-O-N-E,” she answers sitting on the other bed. “But your ass is going out with me tonight. I don’t care what you say. Take a catnap, drink a red bull, whatever you need. I’m not spending New Year’s Eve in this hotel room.”

  “Ugh, I’ll get a second wind. You shower first.”

  She nods and goes into the bathroom. The past few days have been exhausting for us. We practiced a few hours a day but then were required at appearances around the area for fans and alumni, not to mention the fan fest.

  Cheering in the game today at Sun Life Stadium was a whole new experience. The energy and enthusiasm was off the charts. Adrenaline pumped through me the whole game and when we won, it was an insane celebration on the field. Now, I’m so tired a night out sounds like torture. But I promised Quinn, so I force myself off the bed and dig through my suitcase for an outfit.

  My phone rings with the familiar ring tone, which instantly makes me smile.

  “Hey there,” I answer.

  “Babe, you were on TV all night. You looked incredible. Did they make your uniforms skimpier for the bowl game?” Bryce asks.

  “No, same uniform as always.”

  “What are you doing now?”

  “Unfortunately picking out an outfit for tonight. Quinn is insistent we party into the New Year.”

  “Where?”

  “I have no idea. Probably a bar somewhere close since we only have a little time before midnight.”

  “I don’t like it, I’d prefer you stay in. I still have flashbacks to the fucking body shots in the airport.”

  “Bryce! Get over it.”

  “No body shots, Devon, promise me.” His tone possessive.

  “Promise. What are you doing tonight?”

  “Not too much, maybe a few drinks and a bar down the road. Text me when you get back to your room. And be careful.”

  “Okay you too.”

  “Always.” He hangs up and I stare at the phone. We really need to have a talk about his etiquette.

  “Show
er’s all yours. Hurry up!” Quinn comes out, with a trail of steam following her. She inspects the outfit I laid on the bed and nods her head in approval, then waves her hand at me to hurry.

  When we’re both dressed and Quinn has found out where to meet everyone, we head downstairs. Several heads turn to stare as we wait for a cab, but none of them remotely compare to Bryce. For the hundredth time since leaving Colorado, I realize, I’m screwed.

  When we get to the club, it’s packed. People line the streets waiting for entry and the outdoor bar is crowded with bodies everywhere. Quinn asks the bouncer if our names are on the VIP list since our friends came earlier. He nods and lets us in, pointing to sectioned area, not even asking for our ID’s.

  We join a group of people we know in the roped area. A waitress brings us our drinks and it’s clear we’re the most sober of the group. I decline when invited for body shots, avoiding Quinn’s hard stare.

  A few of us head to the dance floor where bodies close in on us, gyrating to the beat of the music. I don’t turn around when a guy grabs me from behind and starts grinding lightly. It’s not seductive in any way, just a friendly dance. One song leads into the next and Quinn joins me dancing on my front.

  The guy behind me moves away and Quinn stops moving all together. Her eyes grow wide and she shakes her head, indicating I turn around. When I do, my heart stops. Bryce is standing behind me with his arms crossed, looking ready to kill.

  I ignore his fury and squeal, hopping into his arms. He stumbles back slightly, but catches me and lifts me up his body. My legs wrap around his waist and I bury my face in his neck.

  “Is it really you?”

  “I better be the only guy you greet this way,” he hisses.

  Leaning back, I cup his cheeks and kiss him lightly, then rest my forehead against his. “You are.”

  “You realize I want to punch the dickhead that was grinding on your ass, right?”

  “You have turned into a total caveman!” Quinn swats his arm.

  “Yep, complete and utter overprotective ape. Don’t like seeing some douche with an obvious hard-on rubbing on my girl.”

  “Well, how would you feel to know, anyone standing behind Devon right now can practically see her whole ass the way you’re holding her?”